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happy 20th dearself!

haih. it isnt actually  about my recent birthday that i want to post about. it is about my love life. i knew that love is uneasy to handle. and yeah, why that the name of 'ex' is uneasy to move on too? well,on my birthday he send me a gift of varsity jacket he said that want to give it to me early of the year but you know youre the one who messed up everything.
i wont say that i didnt move on too, but with the precense of you in my life, its really didnt help anything. 

i love alex,i really do.
but i know, in the deep of your heart you still believe that you can change my heart so that i can back to yours.
no,you wrong. i wont. yes, i swear. if things didnt work out with alex pun, i wont choose you anymore. i am done. im tired with you.  i know that you became comfortable with all of this sebab apa? sebab before this even i cakap i dah move on you still there believe that i will back to you and i did which i regret right now. because that time, i belive that yo…

2018 yeppi!

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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

My 2017 is obviously sucks. But yet, I still feel blessed about my 2017. i dont want to say what is happened on my 2017 year but Alhamdulillah I can get trough it and live happily and....sad. Alhamdulillah that I had performed my umrah at the end of the year with my lovely family


and Alhamdulillah that my semester 4 starts easily because glad that I have Akma as my roommate so that she can show and teach me about the subject that I had missed. thanks Akma! really appriciate it. and Sekah too :)
anddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd Alhamdulillah that someone that I have been waiting from September become mine on December. Nampak macam tak lama sangat kan. Tapi hengko ingat hari hari yang ku lalui dari bulan September tu tak lama ke nak tackle dia? haha. dapat tackle crush ni adalah satu kejayaan selain mendapat 4 flat dalam kehidupan you know. well, a guitarist that you only can see on stage finally yours. KAU RASA? apa apa pun tak mahu cakap banyak…

kekasih gelap;

Cara mencintai kau yang paling aku suka-;
adalah dengan cara kau tidak mencintaiku.

Walaupun kau tak tahu dan tak pula kau rasa,
aku sentiasa hadir dalam cerah mahupun gelap harimu.
berdiri selalu di belakangmu, menjadi tongkat sokongan kelam hidupmu.

Panggil saja aku, akanku muncul.
biarkan saja aku, akanku hormati masa mu.
walaupun, terkadang aku rasa aku cuma kau cari ketika kebosananmu.
tak mengapa, cinta sendiri menyindiri merasa ku sendiri ini memang perih,
aku terima risiko ini.
risiko biarkan hati aku mati.
mati dalam mencintai kau walau tak terbalas,
kerana in caraku dan aku suka itu.

Tak akan pernah ku paksa kau memandang ragaku,
kau punya hati dan keputusanmu dan aku menerima itu.
aku punya jiwa dan kesukaanku dan aku memilih orangnya adalah kamu.
walau tak terjawab dan tak terbalas tepukan tanganku.
aku memilih hidup begini dengan cara jatuh cinta begini dengan cara merindui kau begini dengan cara menyayangi kau begini.

Walau dalam diam,
aku punya cara tetap seperti ini.

Gelap.

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Ayah.

UMI.

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